TALES OF THE OLD SENSEI

In a place far away there is a martial arts legacy which grew into a dynasty called Dragunshire. Enjoy the tale of a night in northern California when many Legends of the Martial Arts got together and shared thier Mahalo for the man of the hour Hanshi Sid Campbell.

An Experience that was a Lifetime in the Making.
For those fortunate enough to attend Sid Campbell’s 40th anniversary celebration and luau , they will assuredly attest to the fact it was one party that will not be forgotten in a long, long time. It was a much anticipated event that lived up to the hype and may well be considered the event of the year for the martial arts community in the Bay Area and perhaps well beyond. This exclusively lavish gala was held on January 13, 2007 at the prestigious Albert DeWitt (Officer's) Club on Alameda Point in Alameda, California. The opening festivities commenced at 5:00 PM and was continuous fun until midnight. The theme was Hawaiian and the luau feast was reminiscent of actually being in the islands and sharing in an Ohana family tradition on that special night.

The World Okinawan Shorin-ryu Karate-do and Kobudo Association (WOSKKA) was the hosting organization and orchestrated this year’s celebration. Mr. Joe Baca, the director and coordinator, said that the theme was not only to honor Sid Campbell but also share in the martial spirit for all of the special people and martial arts organizations that had been an integral part of hanshi Campbell’s life as a professional teacher. He then stated, “Sid Campbell was among the first Americans to open a commercial Okinawan shorin-ryu dojo in the United States and since then he has been a part of the Bay Area martial arts scenery ever since1966. He has been instrumental in the growth and proliferation of karate through his involvement as a tournament promoter, an actor in fighting genre films, film producer, author, artist, founder of a major worldwide organization and teacher (sensei) to over 20,000 and awarded over 850 black belt ranks. As a result his endeavors he has shared portions of his knowledge with almost fifty schools (dojo) that espouse the art he learned while stationed in Okinawa in the US Navy during the Vietnam Conflict.” Baca then elaborated that, “Along his martial arts journey Sid has been blessed to meet and exchange ideas with many martial artists from all over the world and has never forgot a person that he has met along the journey up the mountain.”

Organizations like WorldBlackBelt, founded by grandmaster Bob Wall, the World Martial Arts Grandmasters Association Hall of Fame, founded by master Mark Gerry; Senkotiros International founded by grandmaster Max Pallen, Sr., the West Coast World Martial Arts Association, co-founded by masters Ernie Reyes, Sr. and Tony Thompson, Kajukenbo Self-defense Institute co-founded by sijo Adriano Emperado, the Golden State Karate Association founded by master Robin Taberna, The Kajukenbo Association of America (KAA) founded by great grandmaster Charles Gaylord, Modern Bok Fu Do Organization founded grandmaster Richard Lee, the Sport Martial Arts Museum founded by professor Gary Lee, Affiliated Martial Arts Promoters Association (AMAPA) as well as many other distinguished styles that have been instrumental in shaping his philosophy and sharing in their cultural traditions.

Hanshi Dan Tosh’s Formal 10th Dan Grandmaster Rank Awarded
One of the much anticipated events on the evening’s program was when legendary American shorin-ryu karate pioneer Dan Tosh ceremoniously received his 10th degree grandmaster rank and official certification by the board of the World Okinawan Shorin-ryu Karate-do and Kobudo Association (WOSKKA).

Grandmaster Dan Tosh started his training in shorin-ryu karate in1958 in Coffeyville, Kansas. Over the past 40 some-odd years he has traveled and lived in the countries where shorin-ryu karate-do was practiced long before the world-at-large knew of this incredible self-defense art’s existence.

The World Martial Arts Masters Association Hall of Fame Inductions
Master Mark Gerry, President of the World Martial Arts Masters Association, along with other founding members of the Hall of Fame alumni that included Eric Lee, Jimmy Willis, Dan Tosh, Bob Maschmeier, Carlos Navarro and Sid Campbell were present to formally inducted professor Gary Lee and sifu Harry Mok into this prestigious organization. WMAMA is among the most elite Hall of Fame organizations in the world and is renowned for not having any fees or strings attached to being inducted into this distinguished fraternity.

Hanshi Sid Campbell Gets Roasted
The fun-filled and jovially entertaining celebrity roast featuring a panel of roasters that have known hanshi for over 30+ years and held little back regarding their lifelong relationship with this America martial arts pioneer. The board included the likes roast master Bob Wall, Eric Lee, Mark Gerry, Max Pallen, Sr., Carlos Navarro, John Olivier, Roger Glenn, Greglon Lee, Nathan LeBlanc, Dr. Zee Lo, Dr. Dan Tosh, Bob Maschmeier and Harry Mok. These veterans turned the spit slowly while Hanshi sizzled in his own juices. We can proudly say that unlike many of the Hollywood celebrity roasts the chefs of this simmering concoction of mayhem and madness did not elude to crude jokes about genital and rectal dysfunctions. For that noble consideration, these great pranksters deserve to be inducted into the Roasters Hall of Fame if there is such a hallowed institution.

Some recounted funny anecdotes about Campbell early on in his martial arts career while others opted to lambaste him about more contemporary foibles that they shared over the last few years.

If all of the jests and jabs were intended to embarrass hanshi Campbell, it would seem that the roasters fell short of their intended goal. Though, at times, Campbell squirmed and shifted restlessly in his chair on stage, everyone could see that hanshi was shamelessly reveling in the moment and spent an enormous amount of time laughing at himself and the way his peers brazenly delivered their gaffs. The packed to capacity ballroom of the Officer’s Club was roaring with laughter as each of the roasters took their turn at the podium and unleashed their barbs while harpooning the good-natured roastee.

Others opted to pursue antics that poked fun of his age, constantly changing hair color, hygiene (or lack there off), propensity for enjoying a good party, and other embarrassing moments that they recalled over the years, and, since he is of Scottish decendancy, several of the roasters took potshots at his frugalness. He took a ribbing about his typing abilities since he only uses one finger and has written over 50 books. Grandmaster Bob Wall, the roast master and consummate intimidator, remarked that Campbell had the deepest pockets of anybody he had ever seen but unfortunately he also had the shortest arms. He expressed that Campbell was so cheap that he had sewn plastic pockets into his jackets so he could steal soup from restaurants.

Bob was non-stop and unrelenting with his acid-tongued quips and keen-witted remarks that gave hanshi reason to shudder and shake his head from time to time. Mostly, because he had to stifle laughs just to hear the next rapid-fire putdown because each barb got funnier than the last.

There was no doubt that hanshi Campbell laughed as much and as hard as everyone in the room at this point in the program. Even to the roasters it was obvious that he was undaunted by being the brunt of all their lambasting and good-natured ribbing. Hanshi Campbell’s lifelong best friend Eric “Little King of Kata” Lee, his co-star in several martial arts motion pictures, and kung-fu legend shared with the audience just how he and Campbell met for the first time. It was hilarious to listen to how Lee mistook their first meeting as being a challenge match at hanshi’s first dojo in Oakland almost 40 years ago. Of course, according to Campbell it was a bit different but after four-decades who has the best recollection? If you would have believed hanshi’s version it is possible you would have been convinced that they met when they got out of San Quentin prison together.

Following, roaster extraordinaire Roger Glenn poked fun at Sid Campbell’s production and scriptwriting talents regarding cinematic projects that had never materialized beyond the conceptual stage. Namely; his made for television talk show production called Just For Kicks of which the pilot was the only show ever filmed. Campbell interjected that he was just ahead of his time and one day they would be a reality. Some of Glenn’s eloquently stated diatribes were about several movie film scripts he had written and attempted to self-produce while others pertained to his digitally created audio programs such as “Self-defense for Wimps”. Glenn reiterated several times that Campbell was a fake, fraud or a charlatan and emphasized that not only did he teach people how to fight like a kung-fu master but he was teaching wimps how to beat up the people that he was teaching how the defend against. The thundering roar of laughter was deafening as Glenn pondered the paradoxical philosophy of this reasoning. When master Mark Gerry stepped up to the rostrum that night he was operating in fine form The only things missing from his repertoire was an actual Texas chainsaw and Freddie Kruger’s finger blades. Since he could not dig up any dirt or discover any hanky-panky in the romance department Mark wasted no time in buzz-sawing through a series of remarks pertaining to hanshi’s age (62) and his inability to perform optimally like he used to when he was younger.

When hanshi Dan Tosh addressed the audience at the podium he took the moral high-ground and opted to spare his shorin-ryu comrade more humorous agony that he had already received at the hands of his heckling panelists. Dan spoke of going back in time to understand what makes this man Sid Campbell tick. Dan talked jokingly about how at 4 year old Sid went to the beach for the first time and discovered sand. He found that if you press it together and add an ever so slight amount of water it could form shapes. Nine hours later he built his first sand castle and it looked just like Shuri Castle. He had seen a picture of the castle in a book when he was 1 year old and he was able to make an exact replica from memory.

Next, Grandmaster Bob Maschmeier stepped up to the rostrum and made his opening remarks of just how he thought hanshi had been successful as a karate instructor. Then, presented hanshi Campbell with a specially designed see through plastic karate uniform that he said was hanshi’s new attire for the women students in his class. The interesting kicker to this joke was the patch of three barely dressed females with the backs turned and their derrieres showing. The roasters laughed as hard as Campbell and the audience got a charge of this creative idea for a karate uniform.

He then commenced to lambaste him about him always wearing his samurai attire to social functions and award presentations. When grandmaster Maschmeier discovered that he did not have his kimono and kabuto at the evenings ceremony, he did not miss the opportunity to don his own samurai helmet and prompted Campbell to put on the one that grandmaster Olivier had wore in his samurai skit. Following this charade, Bob then shared with the audience that both he and hanshi had undergone radiation treatments for cancer of different types. Adding, that now they were the budo brothers that glowed in the dark. The crowd got a big charge out of that.

Then, unexpectedly, master Gerry produced a letter that had been sent from Grandmaster T.R. Crimi who wished to attend but had commitments in Europe made it impossible for him to personally be there that evening. Something about reading a list of barbs and gaffs at the rostrum that made this almost surreal. Grandmaster Crimi, although far way, was there in the spirit and the message that master mark Gerry read gave Campbell reason to know that at the end of the letter he was still held in high esteem by his friend and comrade grandmaster T.R. Crimi.

Sifu Harry Mok took a slightly different approach to roasting hanshi Campbell. Since he was the one responsible for encouraging hanshi to go on the 10-day master cleanse fast, of which Campbell successfully completed and documented, Mok had plenty of material to raise the temperature on the roasting spit a few degrees.

Roaster Max Pallen, Sr. had some fun at hanshi’s expense as well. He jovially recounted how Campbell has trouble eating and is always having trouble managing to find his mouth when they have lunch together. He produced several sets of false teeth and offered them to Campbell in hopes that this would remedy the eating problem.

Next, grandmaster Carlos Navarro focused the crux of his barbs on hanshi’s penchant for enjoying good parties during his younger days. Sounding like Ricky Ricardo from the I Love Lucy television show, Navarro recounted several instances where he and hanshi Campbell were raising venture capital to produce their own action adventure motion picture called Ninja Busters. Naturally, many parties and investor meetings were the usual protocol for these types of enterprising undertakings. And, since Sid Campbell was known for his traditional Japanese and Okinawan weapon expertise, Navarro thought it was a great way to interest investors by performing impromptu weapon demonstrations to show them the skills of the actors that would be starring in the production.

Sifu Greglon Lee then stepped up to the rostrum to take some potshots and the roasted one. At this point everyone could see that Campbell had grown accustomed to expecting anything in the way of verbal vindictiveness. Lee worked the side of the tracks that hand not been treaded so much that night. He came roared into the station with a bunch of diatribe about hanshi’s typing and book writing talents or talents that were sadly lacking. He made a point of sharing with the audience that Sid Campbell only used one finger to type. With a suspicious and somewhat skeptical look on his face, he turned and addressed his fellow roasters saying, “Now, that seems like he has been kidding a lot of people for a long, long time. How can someone write over fifty books using just one finger. I think he has a secretary that he is not telling us about.”

Action film star and JKD disciple Dr. Zee Lo was revved up when he stepped up to the podium and began sharing some of the experiences that he recalled from days past when he first began in the film industry. Though he could have been unrelenting in his verbal assaults Dr. Lo opted to recount some of the great things that Campbell had done for him by assisting in getting his film career rolling in the Bay Area.

Finally, Sid Campbell got his turn to address both his muckrakers and the audience at the rostrum. He began his rebutting diatribe by asking, “Did you ever get that feeling that you are in a cage with a bunch of big, hairy great silver-back gorillas? I am feeling a lot like that right now!” Addressing the audience and trying to ignore his roasters, Campbell commented that, “These guys never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. For you, this roast has probably been about as entertaining as watching a potato bake. Every time I look at this board of roasters I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. Because these guys are good examples of why some animals eat their young.”

Then, redirecting his attention to the audience, the roasted one stated, “I’d like to say I had a fabulously wonderful evening sitting here taking the hits. But this wasn't fabulous and it definitely was not wonderful. I almost turned on my snooze alarm.” This garnered more laughs in just the way Campbell delivered this retaliatory sting. Naturally, hanshi Sid Campbell could not leave the roast of a negative note. He was touch by the karate warriors that that lovedhim and admired him.

In the end, however, hanshi Sid Campbell had the last laugh but it would not happen until the party was over and everyone was leaving for their drive home.

Unbeknownst to all, while the actual roast was going on, Campbell had several of the event staffers assigned to the parking lot place envelopes on the windshields of all of the guest's automobiles.

The envelopes were printed with a very official looking insignia of the U.S. Navy stenciled along with the words Illegal Parking Violation, Fine $250.00.

As the everyone returned to their vehicles and after seeing these official-looking citations on the windshields, most the people were shocked and in dismay that they could have been issued a for what they thought was authorized parking. Especially since there were no obvious no parking signs posted anywhere in the lot. But, once they opened the envelope and read,

“For all my dear friends that laughed at me at the Roast GOT’CHA, Thank you for coming to my 40th Anniversary Celebration. Hope You had a Great Time! Love and Aloha, signed Sid Ka’imi Campbell. Everyone that received these illegal parking citations soon realized that their anger and dismay was misdirected.

It thereafter became readily apparent that this little ruse was Campbell’s own way of getting the last laugh at this festive gathering. Undoubtedly, everyone that attended this 40th anniversary celebration and luau will remember this prank for years. A Living Legend has the last joke , We love you Hanshi!!

Till next time this the old sensei with all the love and respect to our elders.

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